This doesn’t really look like Binnsie except for one important thing: Binnsie is one of those guys who always smiles for photos with his mouth open. Also, he has a cool pun that incorporates instagram into his instagram name: binnstagram. (Please insert Nick Carroll-like HHHHHHHHHHA! here). Once at Bells Binnsie was walking around the media night slapping people in the head. I saw him coming and I was thinking to myself, “Oh no, Binnsie has been drinking beers out of his shoe again.” Sure enough Binnsie came over and slapped me, so I reached back as far as I could and unleashed the most brutal open faced slap I’ve ever given anyone right into the side of his head. It sounded like a thunder clap and my hand was throbbing like crazy from the impact. Binnsie looked at me with tears in his eyes and said: “Hey man, that hurt so much.” I just stared at him with my eyes open as wide as they would open and nodded. About an hour later I was talking to a really short girl. The music at the party was super loud so I was leaning right down to hear her when suddenly Binnsie smacked the back of my head causing me to headbutt the girl right on the nose. She buckled over and wept openly. I looked at Binnsie. He was staring at me with his eyes wide open and he was nodding. All I could think was: “Touche Mr Binnstagram. Touche.” Anyhoo, despite how all the above reads, Binnsie is one of my more favourite peoples I’ve met in the past few years. A real friendly fella with a big heart and good nature. Give him a slap for me next time you see him.
You guys wouldn’t know this but old Mike got the Fah-lick! and new Mike took his place. New Mike’s name is actually Lucas but we call him new Mike because he has the same haircut as old Mike only he’s more masculine, surfs better, isn’t from Melbourne and he sits in Mike’s chair. It’s like old Mike is iphone2 and new Mike iphone5. New Mike rules. I wonder what old Mike is doing right now? Probably sitting at the bottom of some draw in some kitchen.
Ronnie’s old room mate Rossco the dentist used to get around in a tee shirt with the inner workings of chicken’s brain printed on the front. It was my fave tee of all time but I forgot about it until yesterday, when for some reason it popped into my head. So I quickly drew it. And now… I share it with you.
Saw KB last night and remembered I never posted this dedication to true love that Campbo commissioned for Monster Children. It’s KB and his old roomy turned fiance Skye. Originally I did the lips pressed flush together but it didn’t have anywhere near enough of the passion that their relationship is famous for. So I opened their mouths and got their tongues just mad-assed going to town on each other. What’s the deal with tongue pashing at weddings anyway? Like, when you kiss the bride do you just keep it civil and flat like when George Clooney kisses chicks in the movies? Or do you get all Tom Cruise in Top Gun and lick the heck outta that new wifey mouth? I’ll be keeping a close eye on KB and Skye’s wedding day kiss to see how it pans out. If I’m invited that is.
MP wore leather jackets and aviators. He rode Queensland Point tubes and slashed the open face. He won every contest worth winning. He got mad barreled out Sunset Beach… MAD BARRELED (Go to 2:16 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDb-6ohjZGA&feature=related ). Then Simon put three fins on his board and MP was over it. He turned his back on being the best surfer on the planet. And that was pretty much that.
Yesterday I was walking down to the beach to go for a surf at South Av. It was howling onshore and raining. Nobody was there. A little staffy ran past me looking very happy with himself. I turned around to look for his owner. Nobody was there. I watched the little staffy run with his little staffy smile all the way down to the ocean pool. Then I watched as the little staffy ran along the pool edge that juts into the sea. The little staffy had no idea the surf was big and that waves were breaking right across where he was running. I thought to myself “This little staffy is about to get washed out to sea.” A second later a wave doubled up right where the little staffy was running. The wave totally smashed the little staffy straight into the pool. I laughed. “That right there is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen,” I thought to myself. But the walls of the pool were high. The little staffy couldn’t get out. I looked again for the little staffys owner. Nobody was there. Waves continued to wash over the little staffy. The little staffy’s paddling became panicked. The little staffy’s head slipped under the water. “Oh my God,” I thought. “The little staffy is drowning!” I ran down and scurried along the pool edge to where the little staffy was drowning. The picture above is what I saw. I saw death in the little staffy’s eyes. I grabbed the little staffy by the scruff of the neck and pulled him out of the water. The little staffy coughed all over the place. He had yellow foam all around his mouth probably from drinking so much sea water. The little staffy looked at me and then he ran off on his happy little staffy way. I thought to myself, “Well… that whole scene was as weird as shit.” I looked around wondering if anyone else had seen it all go down. Nobody was there.
I thought I was 35 all of last year and the year before. Then on my birthday in December I found out I was only 34, so that means I’m living 2012 all over again. The good news is it’s a great year, you’ll love it. I don’t know what you get up to but I get barreled, eat burritos, make out with some super hot girls, go to the movies (I’ve seen everything that comes out and there’s only two flicks worth seeing and one has Bill Murray in it and the other one I can’t remember) and I wear my little red hat heaps! What a year man, I’m stoked to be living it over. Can’t wait to see you again even though you weren’t here last year because you were in 2011. But anyway… HOOT!
In the meantime come to a really bangin’ dancey poo fest this Saturday. Will be fun or something.